Lesley MacCulloch
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What's your emotional crutch?

4th April 2022

For years and years, literally till I was 50, I was an emotional eater. I was addicted to the distraction that food was for me. It wasn’t till I got to the root of why I was running away — and FELT the deeper suppressed emotions surrounding my pain — that I finally found freedom from my need to gorge until I felt sick and subsequently hate on myself over and over again.

Last Friday, I started April with a 40-hour fast. I fasted from 8pm on Thursday till 1pm on Saturday. For those of you paying attention, the extra hour was easy. I wasn’t ‘waiting’ to eat and I rarely eat until the afternoon anyway. My natural eating schedule has become what’s known as intermittent fasting.

However, early afternoon on Friday, I noticed my deep imprinted patterns of unconscious programming starting to speak to me. The internet was constantly going slow and dropping out. This couldn’t happen! I had plans! I had people coming to my online launch of Activating Humanity at 4.30pm. I had things to do, preparations to make. I’m very conscious of going with the flow and allowing whatever’s meant to be, to be. I knew in my heart that this was happening to show me something, teach me something. My old mental conditioning started to kick in. I want to eat something. I want to eat! I don’t need this fast. I can fast again another day. Anger rising. Wanting to blame. Victim rising. Why’s this happening to me! Frustration rising. Why couldn’t this happen any other day. (Like that would have been any better.)

I made it through those few hours food free and then, lo and behold, we had all sorts of challenges with Zoom, and my launch didn’t start till almost 15 minutes after it should have. That’s a pet hate of mine, keeping people waiting, or being kept waiting (don’t get me onto man-made time), so by this time I was feeling like I had completely lost control and very aware that all these dear people had trusted me with their precious time, their commitment, and their trust. My unconscious had taken over and was creating expectations in my mind, and the perception that I was going to be judged.  I needed to pull myself together and stop letting technology (and my expectations thereof) get the better of me. I needed to breathe, let go and get back into flow.

We are coming together to bear witness to each other as we all work through our stuff, and reflect back to each other our exquisiteness.

Everybody was supportive, understanding and genuinely accepting, a true sign of my soul people as this is what we’re coming together for, to hold each other as we rise into our wholeness, stabilise into the fullness of our light, and root ourselves strong in the truth and integrity of who we really are. To bear witness to each other as we all work through our stuff, and reflect back to each other our exquisiteness.

We are all unique individuals who, at the very heart of our beings, do not need external crutches to keep us distracted, who can laugh and find innocence and delight in our challenges, because in our truth we do not have any unhealthy emotional attachments and expectations. All that we project onto others, or suppress inside our beings, is conditioning. Lessons in how not to be ourselves.

Activating Humanity launched and our expansive future as a beautiful and open communion lies ahead. Together we will rise, empower and hold ourselves in our highest light while we create a stronghold that will help to lift people by inspiring, opening minds and shifting mindsets.

Contact me here if you’re curious.

This is wide open to everybody that wants to be a part.

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