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19th July 2021
I feel this is more of a public service announcement this week, than a blog or a newsletter.
For years, on and off, I’ve been curious enough about psychopathic behaviour that I’ve done a little bit of research, keen to understand what makes a psychopath tick. It started when I was deeply rooted in corporate Australia and came across the book Working with Monsters: How to identify and protect yourself from the workplace psychopath by John Clarke. Clarke had studied forensic psychology, and during his work as a criminal profiler it had come to his attention that many people, managers, in the corporate workplace had similar traits to the criminal psychopath.
I don’t particularly like labels. I think we use them too easily and readily, almost as an excuse to defer from what is actually at play. However, for the purposes of now, psychopath is a word that is recognised so I will use it. I haven’t researched sociopaths or ‘antisocial personality disorder’, but I believe there are similarities in behaviour traits.
The reason I want to focus on the psychopath this week, is not to look at the psychopath, per se, but to look at the direct challenge to my own inner connection a recent experience has created, and the effect people exhibiting psychopathic behaviours could be having on society without anyone knowing what’s actually going on in front of them, or how to appropriately respond. In the past week I have been ridiculed, tormented, insulted, stalked, badmouthed and scorned by a very difficult human being. I’ve felt angry (furious in fact), horrified, bemused, numb, confronted and afraid by this latest encounter with the human shadow. And along with the fear of the situation came victimhood. Why was I the one in the firing line? Why am I being picked on? Why is this happening? How can people be like this? It seems the more I do my own work, the more I see and experience how deeply rooted in our shadows as a race of people we are.
Actively and consciously look at what events are showing you.
However, rather than getting ourselves stuck in that victimhood, we want to be actively and consciously looking at what each event is showing us. The sooner we realise that everything is sent to show us ourselves in some way, the quicker we detach from the emotional connection and step right into our power. We can’t heal the other, but we can allow our own wounds to be transformed. This experience has showed me a bit of myself, but bigger than that, it has helped me to transmute my own shadows of fear, and rise above the behaviour being projected onto me to a frequency where it can’t emotionally touch me any more.
Psychopathic behaviour is fine. And when I say fine, I mean it’s subtle. Tenuous. It can be delicate. It’s not obvious in its psychopathy, at least not until the tide turns and the superficial charm becomes venomous scorn and self righteousness, and you start to see two sides. I realised over the weekend that the reason I had felt so drawn to understand this type of behaviour over the years was so I could recognise it when it showed up in front of my nose. The thing was, I didn’t recognise it. Not at first. I had to experience and allow myself to feel the pain, the hurt, the angst, the malicious and potentially unconscious intent of this person, to be able to rise up and into my power. Last week I spoke of Wim Hof’s cold showers. This morning I had a cold shower. They make me sing. They are fun. They are cold. They are empowering. This morning I reconnected with ME. This morning I chose to not be controlled and compromised by my external world. This morning I chose to open my heart and live my life without hiding. This morning I chose that this person was not going to keep me down. I chose to fully embrace my own presence, and not feel smothered by the presence of others. I chose to create solutions, to be active and to stand tall, as me, in the style that is all of me, and to not be gagged, quashed or stifled by the fear of this unknown entity that displays many of the behavioural traits of the Hare Psychopathy Checklist-Revised.
I am full, alive and whole.
The image today is my scribbled notes this morning on the back of a used envelope. I have done nothing wrong. I have nothing to hide. I AM IN MY POWER. I am full, alive and whole.
And so are you. We are all full, alive and whole. We will always meet the challenges. The challenges are there for us to grow, but we will only grow if we embrace the challenge and not hide from it. I realise now I had a soul contract with this person. The timing and the way that this has happened is synchronistic. I can see deeper than the human experience; I can see inside it for what it is. This person was an arranged connection and I noticed I felt a fleeting sense of compassion for them the other day because of that. I don’t feel there’s a need for forgiveness, because I don’t feel that there’s anything to forgive. I do feel compassion (which ironically they would say is patronising) and I feel grateful for this opportunity to grow some more. I didn’t enjoy it. It’s still going on. I’m not enjoying it one little bit. But I can almost feel my cells activating in ways they never have before. And that’s the work I do with you. The same work I’m continually doing with myself. Facing and transmuting the energy of fear.
For anyone reading that’s interested, the following is just a copy and paste from Google, but if you feel you’re in a relationship – any sort of relationship – and that you can detect that something’s ‘not quite right’ about the individual, do your research and try these strategies. People with psychopathic traits love to talk about themselves. They also love to make up stories. If they decide they don’t like you any more, do your very best to do 1 and 2. And if you want to speak to me about any of this, then contact me here.
From Google: If you must deal with a psychopath, try these five strategies:
If you’re ready to do your inner work and step into your own power, get in touch any time. July discount rates still apply.